Coming home from such large experiences always trigger a period of required rest for me. I tend to return and collapse into a minimum of a week of recuperation, sometimes longer. This adjustment period is a mix of many things: recovery from burnout, culture shift, and just the sheer need to process the beauty and magnitude of my time abroad. Thankfully, I know this about myself and am able to make the return home an easier process than my arrival in a foreign country. My biggest recommendation for students returning home is to be kind and honest with yourself. Home is different from the place you just were and the same as before you left, but it is highly likely that you have changed. This means interacting with your home will take a bit of self reflection. I try to recognize that I have just accomplished something big, and that looking at my home with curiosity makes my life more interesting.
Image While I was in Jordan, the process of practicing a second language while out and about stretched me out of my comfort zone far more than most things ever have. I was constantly making mistakes and tripping over myself. Both because I am only intermediate speaker and because the dialects of Arabic I have been learning are not the same as the dialect spoken in Jordan. It did not matter what space I was in, I was going to make mistakes. In my Modern Standard Arabic (MSA) class I would say things in Egyptian or Jordanian dialect. In my Jordanian dialect class I would say things in Egyptian or MSA. While out and about, I would say a mixture of all of the above. It took over a month for me to get used to the amused looks I would get from everyone. However, by the time I left I was getting compliments on my speaking ability, which made all the difference in my confidence.
Studying abroad in Jordan brought my queerness sharply into focus for me. I was forced to think about what visibility and safety means in my own country, and how I am not promised either of those things in any place. My experience makes me want to cultivate a deeper connection with my community and to represent myself more honestly. To queer students who are thinking of studying abroad, I hope you do so. It is worth liminal space and feeling of being a foreigner. Depending on where you go, it may mean a simple guarding of yourself or it may mean greater freedom. Wherever you choose, it can bring you closer to yourself and the recognition that queerness is not a monolith. It is as unique as each place you go and each person you meet. If studying abroad can bring you closer to this understanding with yourself and your community, than it is surely worth it.
By Abiel "Avi" Locke, Diverse Ducks Ambassador
Intensive Arabic in Amman, Summer 2023