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When I first arrived in Japan I had a strong desire to strengthen my connection to my Japanese heritage. Despite many challenges, I feel as though I am striving to meet that goal more with each passing day. As I approach the halfway mark of my study abroad at Waseda University, I would like to reflect on what I have achieved and what roadblocks I must strive to overcome for the remainder of my stay.

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My international student dorm has offered me many wonderful opportunities. I made many close friends in the first weeks of my arrival. We all shared close bonds through the shared experience of being in a new and foreign environment. Even after many have returned to their home countries, I know I can count on their lifelong friendship.

However international dorms also have drawbacks. Early on I was living in an “English bubble.” It was possible to live in the dorm and seldom come into contact with the Japanese language. However, I knew the English bubble would not allow me to explore my Japanese identity the way I wanted. So before classes started, I began searching for extracurricular opportunities outside of this bubble.

While returning to my dorm from a club fair on campus, I happened to hear a cacophony of screams and loud smacking noises coming from one of the buildings. After a cautious investigation I confirmed my suspicion that I had found Waseda’s kendo club. They kindly allowed me to observe and photograph their practice.

As a member of the UO Kendo Club this chance encounter excited me, and I suddenly felt a strong conviction to practice kendo at Waseda. This was a tough decision, as the athletic club is a Tuesday through Sunday 8 practices per week commitment. I was worried that this club would take so much time every week that I wouldn’t be able to focus on much else. Still, I decided to step out of my comfort zone and joined the club. Even with this intense commitment, I am so glad I made this decision.

With only a couple exceptions, most of my club mates do not speak much English. This forces me into situations where I need to use the Japanese I already know and learn new Japanese on the fly. Pound for pound, the listening and speaking practice offered to me everyday at practice feels so much more valuable than many of the Japanese classes I have taken.

This club has taught me much more than just Japanese and kendo. It has allowed me to observe and learn more nuances in Japanese culture and community etiquette. Being completely surrounded and immersed in a tight knit community is an incredibly valuable experience.

This immersion in culture has also forced hard reflection on myself and my identity. Being plunged into an environment so culturally different than what I am used to has definitely been challenging. I am given much leeway by my clubmates when it comes to expectations on etiquette. Due to my limited language and cultural literacy, it remains very hard for me to feel as though I have become a true part of the community, rather than an addition. I can often find myself standing around and listening to conversation and banter, but due to my language ability I have a hard time joining in.

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Though I would like to be treated as an equal member in the club, I know that it is impossible for me to reach that position given my circumstances. Because I am an exchange student in my third year, I am already a huge exception. Ordinary students are not allowed to join after their second year, and these underclassmen must run a gauntlet of intense obligations to their senpai. At times I feel uncomfortable when some underclassmen feel obligated to treat me as their senior, when by every measurable metric other than age, I am their junior. It was for this reason that my entry into the club was up for question in the beginning. Luckily, by the grace of the club I was allowed to join.

I am very grateful to explore my connection with Japanese culture through this club. It has enriched my exchange experience so much. Though it shows me many challenges when it comes to engaging with Japanese culture, it has given me many opportunities to move outside of my comfort zone and experience the immersion I desire to further define my identity. I am so excited to see what I can learn about my identity during my second and final semester abroad.

By Joey Sota Matsuno, Diverse Ducks Ambassador

Waseda University Exchange, Fall 2023